BREAKING: Repeat Bunnings visits a distraction for Foster

Sport Review #164

NEWSDESK: Concerns are being raised that All Blacks Head Coach Ian Foster’s repeat visits to Bunnings Warehouse for building supplies is impacting All Black performance.

“To be a fair to Ian, he’s always looking to improve, and if installing a coat hook or replacing the handle on the changing room door gets us a win it’ll be worth it,” said All Black manager Darren Shand.

“But it’s the time he takes. First he’s got screws that are too long and has to go back. Then the door knob has a lock on it or some shit, then Grey Lynn doesn’t have what he wants in stock and he’s puttering over to Glenfield in rush hour traffic.”

World Cup winner Sir Graham Henry said “I remember when I’d been to Mitre 10 and back five times trying to hang a door during the 2011 campaign. I turned to Raewyn in aisle 14 and said ‘You know - if we don’t choose the right hinges this time we can never live in New Zealand again. Ian just needs time.”

All Black management put first five / full back Beauden Barrett on stand by as Bunnings runner, but Foster prefers to browse the aisles himself. “You can’t beat going in - you can pick up AAA batteries, head torches or gardening glove specials they don’t do online,” said the All Blacks head coach.

Thanks for reading - Richard

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