News: New All Black tactics trapped inside Ian Foster's house

Sport Review #107

BREAKING: All Blacks coach Ian Foster has developed a host of new tactics that could never see the light of day.

The new tactics, designed to revitalise the world cups bronze medalists’ approach under new captain Sam Cane, have been devised on a ten metre long replica playing field hand-built by Foster during lockdown in his lounge.

The only trouble is - he can’t fit it out the door.

“I spent five weeks building this thing, then a week on some tactics. It’s a bugger,” said Foster.

“When I went to take it all out to the car - I knew I was in deep schtook,” said Foster.

The replica field has been constructed using wooden pallets the All Black supremo had in his garage, as well as plywood, plumbing pipe and green and white paint Foster was able to buy at Bunnings, as he qualifies as an essential service.

New Zealand Rugby has investigated getting the replica field out the door by Zoom call.

“The guys have looked into turning it on the side and lengthways but it’s looking unlikely.”

One option is flying the squad to Hamilton to look at the new tactics in person, but sources indicate sources have had enough and want their fucking lounge back to normal quick smart.

“It’s a bit of a set back all right, but I’m pretty sure I can remember most of them,” said Foster.

Thanks for reading - Richard

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