Make rugby great again
Rugby in 2018 is rubbish. Scrums that last longer than an Easter traffic jam. A Super Rugby comp that's as organised as spaghetti. Justin Marshall.
But it used to be brilliant - we just need to bring back these top innovations from the past and everything will be sweet.
Day time rugby. Playing under lights used to feel like the height of sophistication. We're sick of that now. Day time games means a dry ball and running rugby, university students really enjoy getting drunk in the daylight and it's heaps easier for mums and dads to take the kids without a meltdown.
Angry coaches. Media training means you never see a decent blow up, walk out or swearing from a coach these days. We used to have an All Black coach called Grizz for goodness sake. Have some pride.
Fighting. They say you can't get away with dirty play anymore because of all the cameras, but I say just think of all those sweet YouTube views and get stuck in.
Short back and sides. Remember when everyone got on Carlos Spencer's case 'cos he had a haircut? Now they've all bloody got them.
Terry Wright. What with your 'nutrition' and 'gym', rugby's no longer the game for all shapes and sizes. Bring back skinny guys, short arses and fat blokes, and make our national game relatable again.
Tours. Three tests, and playing in the provinces. Seriously though, tours.
Amateurism. Sure, everyone deserves to get paid, but wouldn't it be better if Sam Whitelock always had time for a yarn at the butchers, Beauden Barrett delivered your Amazon packages and TJ Perenara was the kids' PE teacher?
Cotton rugby jerseys - jersey grabbing, and carrying twice your body weight in water when it rained added an exciting dynamic imo.
On-field interviews with kids leaping around and pulling faces in the background.
Australia. They were great, we should get those guys involved again.
Thanks for reading - Richard
The week's best NZ sport writing
Dana Johannsen puts sporting organisation to the test to get her fictional 11 year old daughter a game - great insight into grassroots sport, with everything from over worked and over enthusiastic volunteers to tumbleweeds [stuff.co.nz]
Why is the Phoenix trying to get back in the flames? Pointed stuff from Andrew Voerman, with handy brouhaha timeline [stuff.co.nz]
Tim Wigmore meets Brendon McCullum - "If I get a boundary early then I'm looking to try and press a huge over, and if you can pick up a 20- or 22-run over, not only have you potentially won the game, but you've got that guy under real pressure, maybe even taken him out of the attack." [Cricinfo]
Simon Van Velthooven is having a crack at the next America's Cup, despite the bikes going overboard - he talks to Madeleine Chapman about tech and design in sport [The Spinoff]
Video nasty
Crazy retro NPC knitwear guy gets bowled over. Simpler times.
Long read
The Ringer staffers on the great man Tom Wolfe who passed away this week - loads of links his to classic essays here.
And check out Hunter S Thompson's classic letter to Wolfe for lines like: "I’ll have your goddamn femurs ground into bone splinters if you ever mention my name again in connection with that horrible “new journalism” shuck you’re promoting."
Selected weekend fixtures
The FA Cup Final isn't what is once was, especially with two rubbish teams like Chelsea and Man U involved. Get the milo ready for 4am Sunday on SKY
Kiwi George Bennett is in sixth place overnight in the Giro D'Italia - Stage 14, when they get into the decent climbs, is replayed on SKY at 9am Sunday
LeBron James' Cleveland Cavaliers try to claw their way back from 2-0 against the Celtics on Sunday at 12.30pm on SKY and NBA League Pass
It's Blues v Crusaders Saturday night at 7.35pm in the battle of 'used to be good' v 'still good'. It's on SKY
Bring back the gif
When you didn't read the background material but decide to contribute to the meeting anyway.
