Who wants to win the World Cup?
From giant killing more brutal than Buck Shelford in a French ruck to breakout star Diego Maradona, World Cup 2018 is shaping up as a proper classic. We're still missing the fairy-tale little team that sets the world alight, but there's been more drama than 'Shortland Street meets Neighbours' - and some really pretty football. Here's what's been happening in Russia this week:
Homeward bound
It was magnanimous of the Germans to invent Schadenfreude, so the rest of the world could express their feelings properly. Germany - all ruthless efficiency and bullying - NEVER go out early, explaining yesterday's shock and glee. And with Argentina looking so wobbly, we could have another big scalp on our hands shortly. But - before you get too pleased with yourself, bear in mind this is how the world reacts when the All Blacks fail at world cups too.
Goals!
Lionel Messi's technical masterclass was the 100th goal of the tournament and we're not even at the elimination matches - Italia '90, for all the nostalgia, only had 115 goals in the whole lot. Brilliantly, over a third of the goals have been scored from 75 minutes on. Enterprise and determination are being rewarded, long may it continue.
Double vision
The final round robin games are played two at a time, to prevent anyone trying to engineer a result. Great for fairness and integrity, but crap for football fans trying to keep up, as folk in their forties try to pilot the SKY remote like a 12 year old with an Xbox controller with one hand, tweet witticisms with the other and end up missing all the goals. Just this morning I got confused while channel hopping and watched Australia and the Netherlands play hockey for five minutes. It's been a tough week - luckily, the knockout round of 16 matches are played one at a time.
Selected managerial fashion commentary
Jorge Sampaoli, Argentina - this tee shirt and mismatched suit jacket is worse than his team's football. Apparently he's lost the dressing room, and turning up as a crooked strip club manager fresh out of the joint is probably why.
Joachim Low, Germany - Joachim has rocked an ex-Velvet Underground member doing a Uniqlo catalogue vibe in the past with some very smart v-necks and slacks. This years' tee shirts scream 'not even trying' - at least he'll have loads of time at home to re-think the wardrobe.
Zlatko Dalic, Croatia - Described as 'Roger Federer on Stars in their Eyes' by @sportsfreakconz on Twitter, he's definitely nailing the Adriatic late night karaoke lothario vibe. Kind of hate it, kind of love it.
Gareth Southgate, England - much better, looks like he could go from pitch side to a Special Dinner with ease. Savile Row would approve if only he could find his jacket.
Next week
There's only 16 matches left, and someone's going home after all of them. Picking a winner is still hard - disappointingly, Brazil look determined to do it in dives and fouls, while England, Belgium, Sweden and Croatia all look like they've got a good system and are prepared to work hard using it. Are France a sleeping giant or just sleeping? Will Ronaldo pass to anyone? Can Argentina beef things up? Are Spain tika taka or just tacky? Stay on your couch, all is about to be revealed.
Thanks for reading - Richard
The week's best NZ sport writing
Alex Braae asks if a New Zealand-South African side would beat the BLACKCAPS - it's close, but not that close. [The Spinoff]
Stuff profiles Amelia Kerr, the best cricketing teenager we've had since Dan Vettori, who's set to be just as big a star [stuff.co.nz]
SKY captures the Auckland Grammar v Kings haka, posh schools, but fearsome stuff [SKY]
Video nasty
Kicky, kicky, kick kick will be in your head for the rest of the day I'm afraid.
Long read
Long, long read on why Steve Smith is a cheat - intense, immature and irritating (last one's mine) [Sydney Morning Herald]
Selected weekend fixtures
Annoyingly, the World Cup takes a break on Saturday, but Sunday has France v Argentina at 2am, and Uruguay v Portugal at 6am, all on SKY
Super Rugby is back like an insurance premium you need to pay, with Highlanders v Chiefs at 7.35pm and Brumbies v Hurricanes at 9.35pm Saturday night, all on SKY
If the White Ferns make the T20 Tri Series final, it's on at 2am Monday morning, on SKY
Bring back the gif
When you booked your flights for the quarter finals on.
