Literally a series of mullet recommendations for Brodie Retallick
Brodie Retallick's announcement he's bringing back the mullet this week was the biggest All Black hair news since Sean Fitzpatrick got his 1000th number 4 all over.
Mullets are as kiwi as durries, singlets and moustaches, and indicate you're salt of the earth and willing to put in the hard yards, but also up for binging no-label bourbon and colas until the Working Class Man CD wears out.
Fashion advisory is a Sport Review newsletter staple, and so we present a selection of great New Zealand mullets for Brodie to choose from, and set out the advantages they offer on the footy field.
You should enable images in your email client if you can't see these! And apologies in advance for the photoshopping.
People think DD Smash is a play on Dave Dobbyn's initials, but insiders know it references an ugly spear tackle that's largely been eliminated from his game, but was a big part of the Th' Dudes' break up. Shame.
I'm glad I'm not a Wallaby! Imagine the confusion if you hit the line out with a blippy synth line and lyrics examining America's royal family. Come to think of it, shoulder pads and leg warmers are essential rugby kit, innit?
There's something about the tightness of those curls that send a shudder through your heart. Michael Laws is willing to put it all on the line to fight for angry, confused people around Aotearoa, you'd have to say taking his brand of incomprehensible, fiery rhetoric into a ruck would scare the shit out of anyone.
OK, this one's probably too long in the front to be a mullet, technically, but Sportreview.net.nz imagines being sold a dummy by Brett McKenzie in Lord of The Rings would make a professional rugby player seriously question their life choices.
Thanks for reading - Richard
The week's best NZ sport writing
Wide ranging run through our rivalry with Australia in the rugby, and how it's all gone a bit nasty recently - fantastic presentation on this one [NZ Herald]
Jim Kayes meets Raelene Castle, who's gone from Netball NZ to the Canterbury Bulldogs to Australian Rugby CEO [Locker room]
Friend-of-sportreview Marc Ellison moved from NZ to Northern Ireland and worked his arse off to fulfil his dream of playing first class cricket. A fantastic effort and riveting read.
Test Match Special's Jonathan Agnew reads a fan's email about his father's illness and love for cricket on the radio. Class act, Aggers, you'll need tissues for this one. [TMS]
Video nasty
Legendary team talks of our time (NSFW language warning!)
Long read
Selected weekend fixtures
Black Ferns v Australia is on at 5pm Saturday night, followed by All Blacks v Wallabies at 7.35pm, they're both on SKY
NZ domestic cricket schedules came out this week, with mens / womens T20 double headers through the summer, get them in your calendar now
It's Arsenal v West Ham in the Premier League at 2am Sunday morning, while Spurs will thrash Man U at 7am Tuesday morning, on BeIN
Bring back the gif
Just a complete fail.
