So, should you watch the game at home or in the pub?
'You can't beat the atmosphere at the pub' is popular with people who want you to buy them drinks, but now that everyone's got a huge stonking TV dominating their living room, is it still worth leaving the house for the big game? Here's what you need to consider before calling up the Uber:
What sport?
Rugby and football are done in an hour and a half and get you in and out of the pub before you can get into too much trouble. Cricket, golf, motorsport etc all take several hours - if you have the time and your liver's up to it, spending long periods in the bar in daylight hours has a certain Charles Bukowski kind of vibe, but loses its appeal when you're wandering around Countdown pissed, trying to remember what was on the shopping list you've lost.
Actually watching the game
Home means distractions. Piles of washing, smoke alarm batteries, exposed mains wiring you should really get around to fixing up - everywhere you look there's reminders of Things You Could Be Doing, which can really take your mind out of the game. On the flipside, leaving the house means you're at the mercy of the general public. Stag dos, Hen's nights, rugby-know-it-alls, pissed people who love talking to strangers are all heading for the empty seat next to you and there's very little you can do about it.
Company
Depends, really - if you've spent the day engaged in a simmering row about forgetting things at Bunnings, your chances of concentrating on the match will suffer, and everyone will probably welcome you buggering off for three hours. Yes, if the match is a classic, everyone's going be your mate and you'll have a great time, but if it's boring or one sided, people tend to turn and will make their own fun by grifting or fighting.
Food and drink
Pubs are basically restaurants these days, but let's face it, you're going to pass up the polenta fries and artisan spring rolls for wedges with sour cream and sweet chilli sauce, washed down with eight pints, again. At home, you're going to put the sausage rolls in the oven but forget all about it until smoke starts filling the room at around the 35 minute mark, and end up demolishing six bags of chips and running out of booze.
Dramatic exits
It's always worth knowing where the fire escapes are at the bar in case your team wins the match and you're heavily outnumbered by opposition fans who look like they're really into revenge. At home, your only option for respite is storming out to the garage for a sulk until you realise it's not a brilliant look for a grown-ass man, and you end up going to bed. The pub wins this round.
Thanks for reading - Richard
The week's best NZ sport writing
Dylan Cleaver on the Auckland First XV rugby brouhaha that reached a conclusion of sorts this week, while not addressing the systematic issues that lead us here [NZ Herald]
Suzanne McFadden meets Veerle ten Have, who could be NZ's next top wind surfing hope [Lockerroom]
Rohit Singh is a boxing charlatan, involved in more dives than your local pool. Steve Kilgallon tells his story in a fantastic multimedia multipart-er [Stuff]
The cricket fan in your life probably spent the week droning on about Mankads, the run out that happens at the non-strikers' end - Ben Hurley joined Jesse Mulligan on RNZ to talk it over [RNZ]
Video nasty
Easily the best reaction to being Mankad-ed ever. Thanks to Yan for the tip!
Long read
How would you go having a crack at playing in the NBA at 42? This guy's fit, his stats are outstanding but he lives a life of constant pain [longreads.com]
Selected weekend fixtures
In the rugby it's Crusaders v Hurricanes at 7.30pm in Christchurch tongiht, while the Jaguares host the Chiefs at 10.40am from Buenos Aires on Sunday, they're both on SKY
The Phoenix are at the cake tin tomorrow night at 7.30pm, it's on SKY
Mike Hesson's Kings XI Punjab take on the Mumbai Indians tomorrow night at 11.30pm in the IPL, it's on SKY
Bring back the gif
When the work crew are hitting the new vegan place for lunch.
