Rugby, rain, rambling
Beauden Barrett to the Blues
The Blues are bottom. In so many aspects. A time traveller from 1997, when Auckland was drowning in unprecedented rugby riches would probably foul their Underdaks and throw their Tamagotchi in protest if they saw what their team had become in 2019.
This is an organisation that firmly rejects possible strategies like retaining players that originate within the world's most golden production line of rugby talent, preferring instead to:
Appoint an up and coming coach and reward them with a career slump - think JK, Pat Lamb, Tana Umunga and probably Leon McDonald, or:
Pinch someone else's talent and lever them in - Piri Weepu, Ma'a Nonu, Sonny Bill etc
This week, Rod Stewart-haired Beaden Barrett has been breathlessly linked with a move to the bigger smoke. Getting a world-class player at the peak of their powers is pretty off-brand for the Blues (Benji Marshall doesn't count), but it should open up more opportunities for law-breaking-influencing for Beauden. So it may happen. Or it may be a way of jacking your price up at contract time.
Insert England rain joke here
Here are the highlights of the cricket world cup this week:
The captains optimistically meet in the middle for the toss
An umpire comes out for yet another pitch inspection
Faf du Plessis contemplates South Africa's semi finals chances
Yes it's England and yes it's summer and these jokes write themselves. In fact, getting an abandonment point against India last night could actually help the BLACKCAPS in the long run. As there's precious little cricket content here are five things more British than rain:
Saying a cup of tea is perfect, but it's badly substandard and you're actually fucking ropable
Apologising thirteen times through the course of buying your weekly grocery shop
Waiting at an empty bar for three hours as you don't fancy interrupting
Getting sunburnt while travelling on the tube
Buying fish and chips that have sat on what's basically a sunbed for the last 13 hours and being happy about it
Back for good
The great man Brodie Retallick has re-signed for NZ rugby. This is great news, but the fine print reveals he's taking two seasons out to play in Japan. In fact, he'll spend more time in NZ jetskiing, eating Christmas ham and trying to connect his laptop to his TV than playing rugby.
Yes, it's better to have him for the next world cup than not, but the new face of All Black contracts is slightly bleak, with our top players spending as much time in New Zealand as Vladimir Putin. Fair play though - if you've managed to negotiate an employment contract like Brodie's where your work pays you to do one job while you go off and earn heaps at another job, let us know.
Thanks for reading - Richard
The week's best NZ sport writing
Fascinating list of the top 20 power brokers in NZ sport - starts with a hard look at who's missed out before running through the folk that really make things happen in the boardrooms and living rooms here [NZ Herald]
Suzanne McFadden hears Noeline Taura and Laura Langman's plans for the Silver Fern's pre-world cup camp at the marvellously named Sippy Downs on the Sunshine Coast [Locker Room]
The Off Spin podcast has had top class guests in Mitch McClenaghan and Suzie Bates, and taken the chance to do thoughtful, insightful interviews alongside the current world cup carry on [The Spinoff]
And don't miss Guy Heveldt's cricket world cup diary, most days through the cup [TVNZ]
Jim Kayes wraps up Steve Tew's time in charge at NZ Rugby, and why his abrasiveness means he will be more respected than liked, while Scott MacLean reckons the commercial success has been at rugby's expense [News Room, Sportsfreak]
Video nasty
If you've ever wondered about potential-next-UK-PM Boris Johnson's competitiveness, watch this.
Long read
Tragic story of the Universal Studios fire that wiped out priceless, irreplaceable master recordings from the likes of Nirvana, Louie Armstrong, Chuck Berry and more, as well as film and TV archive gems [New York Times]
Selected weekend fixtures
NBA finals are 3-2 to the Raptors, game six vs the Warriors is today, don't miss it, it's on NBA League Pass and SKY
The cricket world cup ones to watch this weekend are England v West Indies tonight at 9.30pm, and India v Pakistan same time on Sunday night, they're both on SKY
It's the last round of Super Rugby, and everyone needs to win - so that's Highlanders v Waratahs tonight at 7.30pm, followed by Rebels v Chiefs at 9.35pm. Then tomorrow it's Hurricanes v Blues at 7.30, they're all on SKY
The Football Ferns take on Canada in their second match of the World Cup from France at 7am, it's on SKY
Bring back the gif
When the NBA finals are about to start.
