Rating New Zealand's favourite things vs Kane Williamson
Rugby Club 21st v Kane
It doesn't get much better than dancing to Come On Eileen with your team mate's drunken uncles and aunties while trying to avoid overflow from the yard glass, but do not be led into temptation by fleeting trinkets - Kane is always there for you gutsing out a win long after everyone's buggered off into town leaving you with a broom and an early hangover.
Edmonds Cookbook v Kane
Your copy falls open at 'scones' and 'pancakes' but you know that should a dinner party call for boiled fish with parsley sauce, Edmonds has got you covered. The BLACKCAPS may have more exotic options like a pinch hitter for our upper order, but bugger that, quite frankly, I want the tried and tested, Kane wins this round.
Underinvestment in public transport v Kane
There's a lot of love for Tauranga's favourite son all over New Zealand, but here in the Bay, we've made it easy for locals to enjoy our greatest ever batsman by arranging for heaps of traffic going nowhere so you can listen to his exploits - it's the same in Auckland too, New Zealand wins!
Winning a TradeMe bidding war vs Kane
Things get pretty tense when you leave it til the last minute - yes you could have put an AutoBid on and walked away but here you are refreshing the crap out of the auction trying to take down NelsonNutter99 for the vintage soda stream. Kane does leave things late on a run chase but you just know he's got that well-judged slog over cow corner in his back pocket, so this one goes to Kane, again.
A Jelly Tip vs Kane
Sure, when it's January and you've been out walking in the heat for a couple of hours, the kids are bored and starting to lose it, a cool chocolate coated treat is pretty comforting, but can it beat a punched back-foot cover drive through the gap? Really? Kane.
Not indicating at roundabouts v Kane
Some people love randomness and the thrill of not knowing what's coming next, whether that's barrelling through with your foot down or taking a sneaky unannounced left turn. With Kane, you know you're getting an early and very clear signal, with all credit going to his teammates. Just a pleasure to be on the road with.
Thanks for reading - Richard
The week's best NZ sport writing
Poor bugger Simon Wilson has watched every Blues match this season - here's his breakdown of where it's all going wrong - read part one, and stick with part two for the cracking roast potato recipe [NZ Herald]
Scott MacLean says 11-year old Briar Hayes should be allowed to play rugby with the boys, [Sportsfreak], Toni Bryce says double standards are everywhere when we speak about women's sport [Newsroom] and Rachel Froggatt makes the strategic case for including women in sporting governance [Newsroom]
Think of the worst job interview you ever had - Steve Hansen's 11-hour torture fest to nab the All Blacks' coaching job was probably worse [Newsroom]
Video nasty
The nek minnut guy going down Auckland's steepest streets on his skateboard is some of the hairiest footage you'll ever see.
Long read
Ripping yarn on how Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee's sex tape made tons of cash for everyone but the guy who leaked it [Roling Stone]
Selected weekend fixtures
Super rugby - it's playoff time, with Crusaders v Highlanders tonight at 7.30pm, Jaguares v Chiefs at 10am Saturday morning, and Hurricanes v Bulls Saturday at 7.30pm, these are all on SKY
The BLACKCAPS play the West Indies at 12.30am on Sunday, it's on SKY
The Kiwis v Tonga rematch happens at Mt Smart, 5.30pm on Saturday, it's on SKY
Bring back the gif
When you accidentally end up in a bad neighbourhood.