All Black airport looks reviewed
Sport Review #207
There’s nothing like swishing through the airport, all sunglasses and luggage, on your way to exotic locales and adventures. But as the world’s undisputed number one rugby union team, how do you balance flexing your individuality and style within the confines of mandatory team apparel?
Read on as Sport Review navigates the opportunities and pitfalls of national rugby union side travel style that you can incorporate into your looks, should you be given a truckload of free kit every year.
Just incredibly heart-warming. It is impossible to fuck up an embossed breast pocket blazer, tie and short back and sides, even if you’re forced to wave like Razor turning up at Crusaders training pretending he’s happy. And the hand luggage looks really easy to clean.
Left to right is like ‘Normal, normal, normal, ABSOLUTE ACID TRIP. In pre-internet times people made their own fun, which is all well and good if you’re running around barefoot playing with found razorwire in fast-moving rivers until your mum calls you for dinner, but a different story when you turn up at an airport to represent your country, only to be confronted by a sheep’s head crafted by a clinically diagnosed psychopath that you now see every time you close your eyes.
Now it gets weird. The All Blacks of the 70’s weren’t afraid to experiment with leather headwear, incense and possibly a trip to Nambassa in the off season. And eleven out of ten for the turtlenecks boys.
So you allegedly got in a fight and have been booted off the All Blacks tour. Show the haters you don’t care with an open neck shirt and jacket combo with the stunning all-white hand luggage. Combine it with a massively powerful head of hair, moustache and piercing come at me bro eyes and you’re definitely getting to the taxi undisturbed.
No-one emerged from the early 2000s well. Not only does Mitch have a suit shaped like a Lada, but double fisting hand luggage suggests the national carrier has extended the soon-to-be-former All Black coach cabin baggage privileges not available to every day passengers. For shame.
Come on. Airplane or school ball? You can’t have both.
The problem with team-issued travel wear is the lack of scope to express yourself. The boys get the job done through hair styling and wrist-wear, while Sonny Bill shows a master’s touch by embracing the v neck as layering, knowing cabin temperature is a fickle mistress. Sick leather duffels too.
I’m sorry, but all I see here is All Blacks rubbing each other down with lint removers and wiping marks off their shoes. And having a nightmare at baggage carousels.
Thanks for reading - Richard
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