All Blacks enlist Mrs Barrett to manage Barrett brother issues
Sport Review #134
NEWSDESK: All Black management have brought Taranaki mum Mrs Barrett in to their Rugby Championship bubble to solve various Barrett brother issues.
“We enjoy having the three Barrett boys in our squad. We do not enjoy the pranks, fighting and crying,” said All Black manager Darren Shand. “One minute we’re in the team room reviewing tapes, the next Scott has glued Jordie’s drink bottle lid shut. We’re not angry, just disappointed.”
Barrett brother related incidents include gladwrapping toilet seats, dead arms, ‘humming all the time’, and brothers making other brothers hit themselves.
“As a management group, we know the value of bringing in outside expertise for specific issues. For ongoing Barrett issues, we went right to the top,” said Shand.
Mrs Barrett opened with a closed door meeting that went for four hours, then moved on to tactics like stern looks, feedback sessions in hotel lobbies and making her sons sit apart on the team bus. Team management have reported a 45% decrease in Barrett-related-niggle in the first week.
She has also joined the team’s leadership group, making strong contributions in the areas of motivational Facebook quotes, extremely direct feedback and scones.
Feedback from the Barrett brothers has been largely limited to embarrased mumbling and long periods of silence.
“We couldn’t be more pleased with Mrs Barrett’s contribution, and will be looking to bring more mothers in to the group going forward,” said Shand.
Thanks for reading - Richard
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