Are you ready for sport?

Sport Review #110

Make room for anger, disappointment and petty triumph in your life once more - sport is coming. Here’s how you can clear the decks and be ready.

Physically

Remember those walks around the block? Forget that noise. Sure, it feels good to be active and maybe lose a few pounds, but what’s that got to do with sport? Relax, save your energy.

Now’s the time to re-introduce your body to sport mode once more. Bring sausage rolls back into your diet. Drink a beer every three hours. Sit down, and don’t move for some time. Recreate a last-minute goal endorphins by jabbing your thigh with a compass.

Mentally

Investing your sense of self-worth in a group of men or women chasing a ball in a quest for arbitrary, fleeting glory is a house of cards for your mental health. Just joking! It’s fucking awesome!

Sport Review recommends getting match fit with Sky’s retro games and enough alcohol to forget that the game was played 20 years ago, hey, no pain no gain.

Relationships

You can delete Zoom now. If you’ve spent time over the lockdown connecting with fans of other teams, realising the things you have in common and coming to understand one another’s points of view, that bullshit needs to cease. Drop a few prank calls or call them out on Facebook to let them know hostilities have resumed.

Spatially

Using your TV to introduce the kids to old movies you loved is OVER baby. If you’ve rearranged the lounge to accommodate more family quality time, you need to move that couch back in front of the 146”. Reclaim the space and start insisting on complete silence for 80 minute periods at random to get the family used to sporting enjoyment once again.

Thanks for reading - Richard

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The week's best NZ sport content

Scott Stevenson on athletes, the media and social media - who needs what, are they getting it and can they exist without the other? [The Spinoff]

First Radio Sport, now Trackside - sport on the radio is getting ever more thin on the ground [Stuff]

The NBL is going hard to get ready to put on a basketball show for fans around the world with an online video platform with the players sharing in the profit [Stuff]

Every award eligible for men and women in NZ Cricket’s awards were won by women - Dave Leggat runs you through this remarkable achievement [Locker Room]

Cricket Players Association head Health Mills takes aim at school sport pumping young athletes up to a risky level [Stuff]

Video nasty

Just some extremely satisfying football passes.

Long read

Highly recommend this steadily unfolding short story Theresa by Friend Of Sport Review Connie Buchanan [Newsroom]

Recommendation

Massive recommendation this week - if a comedy about emotionally stunted men with metal detectors sounds like a hard watch, you couldn’t be more wrong. Detectorists on Netflix is conceived by MacKenzie Crook (or Gareth from The Office) and is the best thing I’ve seen in ages.

Selected weekend fixtures 

  • SPORT! NZ Tennis is up and running with a Premier League starting next Thursday - read all about it and catch it on YouTube

  • And the Warriors play the Dragons from the Central Coast at 5pm Saturday, it’s on SKY

Bring back the gif 

When traffic jams are back.

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