Bacon and egg bonanza

Sport Review #156

Lord’s is the Home of Cricket, a fine stadium nestled in London’s pricey St John’s Wood.

Because the English love hierarchy, eccentricity and weirdness as much as queuing, there are Rules and a Club attached. One of the best things about a Lord’s Test is watching the rum old boys (they’re almost all boys) of the Marylebone Cricket Club Members with the iconic red and gold ties.

A normal person probably needs a hat, a radio and something to sit on for a day at the cricket, but the MCC requires members to wear the tie and a jacket. And a newspaper, probably. Crickey.

Still, you might as well go all-in hey? The Red and Gold colours, known as the Bacon and Egg, can be bent to your will with a little imagination.

There’s the blazer. Perfect for hiding tea-stains and smuggling booze when the bar refuses to stock your preferred gin.

The brolly. Perfect for staying dry but also whacking non-members and people in the Labour Party. (NB red trou is the sign of a true player.)

The socks. Perfect for gaining entry to the ground if there’s been a mix up at the Dominatrix and you still need to prove membership.

And the 2021 special, the mask.

You can pair it with the cool bone sport coat and white trouser when you’ve just breezed back into Blighty from a trip to decide which private Bahaman island you’re going to bump from your portfolio.

And it’s ideal for for letting the prefects who made your life a living hell over burnt toast in the dorms know there’s no hard feelings after all these years.

I just wanted to share this picture. Look at this hat. Look at it. Anyone who sends me this knitting pattern will be richly rewarded.

So - no matter if you’re coming in exhausted after a hard night running poachers off your manor, or trying to keep up with the gold market at the cricket, I recommend joining the MCC.

Thanks for reading - Richard

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