BUSTED: Rob Penney admits using Microsoft AI coaching bot

Sport Review #318

NEWSDESK: Embattled coach Rob Penney confirmed today he’s been using a Microsoft AI bot to coach the Crusaders

“Look, there was a PowerPoint update and there it was,” Penney told reporters. “I’d been torn a new one for keeping documents on my desktop in January, I thought IT were all over it.”

The AI bot gave Penney tips on on team selection, tactics and building team culture. It also gave Penney tips on his morning routine, hydration, scents and a yoga programme designed to promote flexibility and wellness.

“It’s effective, I’ll say that. I thought everyone was using it, and just assumed Vern Cotter used an iPad and couldn’t see it. We only lost to Moana when I couldn’t get the bot to go, two factor authentication absolutely fucked me there,” said Penney.

“In high performance sport, you’re always looking for an edge. This time, we’ve not met Crusaders standards,” Crusaders CEO Colin Mansbridge posted on LinkedIn, above an absolutely exhaustive list of 37 learnings.

Crusaders IT Support Dayle ‘Wizard’ McBaggins confirmed he had removed the bot from Penney’s machine, while Crusaders PR issued a pre-emptive ban on Thomas Mead.

Thanks for reading - Richard

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