Couch burning frame by frame

Sport Review #145

Mar 11, 2021

YouTube is not just a place for finding your favourite bands playing on Jules Holland or vital DIY instruction, it also holds precious taonga of our rich history.

Close analysis of this video, a news report of a marketing promotion during the first Test between New Zealand and Sri Lanka in 1997 reveals it records a treasure trove of detail on 1990’s culture for future generations to enjoy.

Broadcasting legend Angela D’Audney breaks the news that The Kids in Dunedin have let the nation down once again.

Siri, show me ‘unimpressed’.

‘Art department? We’re going to need a graphic for a fire at the cricket.’ ‘Say no more.’

Scarfies loved to burn couches at the cricket, the rugby, wherever. HOW did this promotion encouraging scarfies to bring couches go so horribly wrong?

Also: 586-7 declared, nice one.

A V neck and your best strides are arguably not regulation PPE for taming fires, but if you’re a couple of cheeky Speights deep and the chance comes up to use that bloody fire extinguisher that’s taken up space in the office all these years, you’re going to take it.

‘Always in a crowd there are going to be one or two idiots’. Former BLACKCAPS wicket keeper and coach Warren Lees is obviously a top administrator, but Nostradamus he is not. You take the dry tinder of a well-lubricated day at the cricket with your mates and add the spark of Bryan Young gutsing out 267 runs, you’re going to get ignition.

Let us also appreciate the timeless denim button down / club tie combo. The navy double breasted with gold buttons was obviously used to smother the inferno.

Speaking of combinations. Imagine Mr Hawaiian shirt / wooly hat’s mum and dad when they spot him on One News.

WHAT is going on here?

Senior pros. Down the back, by the food. Later, they’ll be unbeaten on the pool table for eight hours.

‘It was inevitable. The lads have a good time. You have to burn things.’ If you’re ever confronted with a camera and a shot at the national news, make sure you nail summing up the zeitgeist like this young scamp.

Thanks for reading - Richard

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