Ewan Chatfield is sitting in your living room looking disappointed in you for enjoying Super Rugby in February

Sport Review #314

Well this is pretty freaky. You just sat down after a hard Friday’s work and there’s Ewan Chatfield. Sitting in your living room, looking disappointed in you for watching Super Rugby in February.

Because excuse me, isn’t rugby a winter sport? And yet here it is, muscling in on the cricket season like a freeloading +1 blocking you out of the wedding buffet. The super rugby finals don’t even start until June. You could conceivably pick things up in late March or even April and be perfectly fine.

Look outside for Excalibur’s sake. It’s legitimately summer. You should be dusting off the radio and blanket and heading to a grassy bank somewhere. Getting into the stats on Cricinfo. Catching a bit of the Plunket Shield after work.

And just to confirm you’re being a dick about this, here’s Ewan Chatfield. Chats. The Naenae Express. He once won a test against Pakistan in a heroic last stand. The man only stopped *playing* cricket at 68, and you can’t even stay awake for more than the first ten overs of the Champions Trophy.

He’s sat in your armchair, between you and the flatscreen looking sad. And every Justin Marshall boomfa only makes him look sadder. He’s refusing a beer. Doesn’t want any of your little pistachio nuts. The only thing that can cheer him up is if you put rugby down and start truly believing in cricket again.

Is enjoying the Hurricanes being rubbish for yet another year worth making a man with 123 test wickets look dejected? Is chatting about All Black potentials when it’s 25 degrees outside OK if Chats is feeling blue?

You have a choice my man. And if you want to enjoy your living room with a happier-looking Ewan Chatfield, you’d better make the right one.

Thanks for reading - Richard

This week's best NZ sport content

Running through Football Ferns, Auckland FC, Chris Rattue and Sky Sport Now with Emile. Shout out to Dan Slevin’s Sky rant referenced here (at 18.40) [RNZ Nights]

A pithy and typically honest ranking of every Warriors season by the great man Chris Rattue, who we will miss when he departs the Herald sports desk [NZ Herald]

Phoenix fan Benji has some questions for his club after watching the team get cleaned up big time at Mt Smart on Saturday [Sportsfreak]

Suzanne McFadden meets Bryony Botha, who’s smashing it on the track bike, road bike, in her studies and career, whew [Locker Room]

Whisper it - but the rugby’s actually been bloody good so far this season, according to Dylan Cleaver and Jamie Wall. Just when you think you got out, they drag you back in etc [The Bounce, RNZ]

Sometimes you just need Barney Roney to come along and give you some perspective [Guardian]

@havea_676I was a professional rugby playa #moanapasifika #rugby #Super Rugby Pacific

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