Fighting back: NZR man to explain governance report in every club rugby bar in NZ

Sport Review #250

NEWSDESK: New Zealand Rugby is taking an open and transparent approach to the damning independent report that labelled its governance as ‘not fit for purpose’ by deploying a guy in a blazer to explain it in every rugby club bar in New Zealand.

An NZR spokesperson said “It’s fair to say that historically, NZR’s stakeholder relations approach was to say things like ‘Get fucked, we’re NZR,’ or ‘Buy WeetBix.’ Those days are largely in the past.”

Donald Worcestershire-Sauce will travel from Kaitaia to the Bluff with a brief to sidle up to people at rugby club bars, and engage the rugby community at a grassroots level in real time.

“We’re confident that when people hear the tight set of talking points we’ve developed, they’ll understand the issues clearly,” said the NZR Spokesperson.

“Don has been equipped with a sweet Ford Ranger that will double as accommodation, given most rugby clubs have an adjacent car park. He also has budget for draught beer up to say Waikato or Lion Red level, as well as salt and vinegar chips or the equivalent in peanuts.”

“At the end of the day, it’s rugby,” said Donald Worcestershire-Sauce. “Rugby. Rugby! Rugby. Would you like a beer mate?”

It’s hoped that Worcestershire-Sauce will run into the NZR contractor deployed to sell the Silver Lake finance deal, who is still operating somewhere in the field, and bring them back to base.

Thanks for reading - Richard

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