Five ways to prepare for the BLACKCAPS Champions Trophy final
Sport Review #315
Make your arrangements
OK, so this match starts at 10pm Sunday night on SKY Sport, which is ideal for spending quality alone time on your couch in your own home when it’s dark outside, but not really great for turning up at work Monday morning perky and productive.
Crucially, you need to sow the seeds by affecting a sore throat at work *today* and scheduling a calling-in sick-email for 7am Monday.
Listen to the BYC podcast
They know their stuff. Here’s the review of the India match - the boys will have another out today talking about the semi final and Sunday’s final no doubt.
Take a YouTube bath
Relive some classic knockout triumphs to get pumped up. I recommend us wasting Australia in Cardiff:
Us wasting South Africa at Eden Park. Of course:
And us wasting India in Birmingham:
Acclimatise to Dubai conditions
Get in your car, turn the heat up full blast and sit there. Make sure you’ve travelled an unreasonable distance and time to get there, and also make sure there are not very many people there to watch.
Believe
We go in as dark horses / underdogs with zero expectations and pressure. OK, it’s the Champions Trophy, which is kind of like winning a LOTTO bonus ticket instead of the quadruple jackpot, and your reward is one of the most awkward / manufactured prizes in world cricket.
The team is genuinely one of the best ODI outfits going at the moment. This format is both loved and unloved like your favourite pair of trackies that got lost under the bed, but are a warm welcome surprise when they re-emerge, and wer’e really good at it when we get to play it. Our top order has delivered every time, slightly unexpectedly, while the bowlers have been awkward and tight throughout. If we keep playing how we’re playing now, we have every chance.
After all, taking down massive killjoy anti-fairness six star Dubai breakfast buffet merchants India, who have shaped this whole tournament to their personal requirements while stuffing everyone else and especially Pakistan, on a track stickier than a price label on an LP would be immensely satisfying. And a ideal way to get the white ball knockout tournament monkey off our back and get set to win a real one.
After all - we’ve won it before. Can we have the teal back for the final please?
Thanks for reading - Richard
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Andrew Voerman quizzes Jeff Wilson on two of the most terrifying things you can do in sport, of which he has done both [Stuff]
Dylan Cleaver skewers the whole Viva Wahs Vegas bizzo, which looked an absolute shit show of people shouting, brand activations and very bad rugby league [The Bounce]
Depending on your appetite for nerdery, you may enjoy The Fold’s relentlessly in-depth discussion of SKY’s financials and upcoming crunch negotiation with rugby over the rugby rights [The Spinoff]
Sport NZ are part of a really exciting initiative to boost research and understanding of health and performance for women athletes around the world [LockerRoom]
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Video nasty
Oh god. For reference.
Long read
All about a women living on a boat moored in Silicon Valley who railed against AI and the tech billionaires, who apparently died in a drowning accident before re-appearing years later along with her cult [Guardian]
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