Most blessed haircuts in NZ sport
Sport Review #203
Clean shaven Jesus John Walker brought home gold for New Zealand despite the drag resistance of those magnificent tresses. Walker was so committed to this strong look that he stuck with it long after its fashion-acceptability had passed, becoming a slightly cranky city councillor only after the locks were shorn.
Choosing one Carlos Spencer haircut is like choosing one child. Blonde, red, long, short, shaved, he had more hair styles than he had kicks in his bottomless bag of tricks. But the greatest has to be the fauxhawk he chose to deliver perhaps the most iconic Carlos moment ever, the 100 metre try to beat the Crusaders in Christchurch before strolling to the corner, nailing the conversion and flipping off the locals.
Every year we get an All Black costuming a mullet, that looks like it’s been tended like the finest bonsai. Bitch, please. The all time New Zealand Mullet belongs to Timaru’s track and Tour de France battler Shane ‘Flying Mullet’ Archbold, who took it around the world before shaving it all off for charity like the legend he is.
You wait for one impenetrable ringlet and then two come along at once. Not content with showing the Waughs how to be international cricketing twins without being extremely unpleasant, Hamish and James did it all while trying to lever their frankly incredible locks into helmets and sunhats - the alternative was truly terrifying.
Chris Lewis was so dashing with hair so perfect he literally needed to lash it to his head with the Ellesse band to go about his business.
When you possess one of the great rugby brains it would be a criminal act to allow anything to come between it and the general public. Eight cap All Black Bull Allen understood this and maintained extreme discipline with the Bic Disposable to keep the dome looking shiny. After a glittering career with the Hurricanes and Central Vikings, he took his hardcase talents to the public through rugby punditry and the Destiny Church.
Fashion and grooming leader Winston Raymond Peters took the magnificent coiffure straight from the corridors of power to the rugby field, where he dodged tacklers like questions and ran midfield lines like he, erm, ran lines. And you can bet he emerged from the showers afterwards looking a million bucks, owned the aftermatch speeches and shut down the clubroom bar.
Thanks for reading - Richard
This week's best NZ sport content
Yes, we’re still talking about the All Blacks and how they talk about stuff. While Robbo is really tied up at the sevens in Birmingham, Mediawatch talked to Phil Gifford about how this brouhaha compares to historic brouhahas and The Detail talked to Scotty Stevenson about the state of the current rugby media landscape and relations [RNZ]
Women’s sport coverage is still growing, but women bylines aren’t going anywhere - Suzanne McFadden runs her eye over the latest research from Sport NZ [LockerRoom]
“We need buy-in from our staff, because they are the people working on the ground in the environment. They’re people that are there every day with the athletes trying really hard to provide the best possible environment that they can, so it has been a difficult process to work through,” said Castle.
“They care deeply about the athletes, and for the system to come under fire the way it has, has had a profound impact of people.”
Next steps in fixing the athlete welfare crisis [Stuff]
If Jason Ryan’s not been on your radar, here’s a good place to get to know him now he’s the answer to all the All Blacks’ problems [Stuff]
The NZCPA podcast talks to Heath Mills about the historic players’ agreement with NZC:
Video nasty
The GOAT Paul Thomas Anderson makes a short film on set in 1992.
Long read
Having read everything there is to know about Paul McCartney and that he doesn’t really say anything new didn’t stop me reading this several thousand word interview with the great man [New Yorker]
Recommendation
Growing up, the mystery of bands like the Sex Pistols or Dead Kennedys was that you had to make do with the odd clip on Radio with Pictures and not much else to even see what they looked like. Now, you get comprehensive dramatisations as well as catching all the best bits on YouTube, Pistol is a lot of fun, with some genuinely uncomfortable moments balancing out the cringey ones [Disney+]
Bring back the gif
Me to YouTube ads after trying to watch a bit of YouTube:
