Olympics drinking game
Sport Review #163
Face the facts. Spending the Olympic fortnight making big dents in the couch isn’t healthy. But if you’re committing to a deeply sedentary lifestyle while watching the peak of human endeavour you may as well double down and get on it.
Behold the Olympic drinking game - deploy responsibly, no cheating.
A warm glass of flat Sprite
When [redacted] describes winning the 500m kayak gold medal as easy, wtf.
Two beers
Every time you idly wonder where your running shoes are.
A nice Baileys
You realise you’ve spent the last 45 minutes in the Sky Sport Now menu.
Four beers and a shot
Every time you try making a tactical point about the beach volleyball, nice try champ.
One beer that turns out to be 9.8% alcohol and leaves you in no state to make dinner or do school lunches
When you catch yourself enjoying dressage.
A funnel of Lion Red
When your smug prediction on the back of your newly-acquired Sport Climbing expertise turns out horrendously wide of the mark.
Shot glass of whatever’s right at the back of the liquor cabinet
When you LinkedIn message an ex-colleague in Brisbane you haven’t contacted in years with an eye to free accommodation for the 2032 Olympiad.
Look, just be honest with yourself and bring the wine bottle to the coffee table rather than making trips back and forth to the kitchen
A top night at the Velodrome.
A self-congratulatory single malt
When you check in on Netflix and see all the sweet sweet content that’s backed up while you’ve watched sport.
A scrabble around in the pantry to see if there’s any cooking wine
When you start including Toni Street and Steven McIvor in your all-time dream dinner party line up.
Thanks for reading - Richard
This week's best NZ sport content
Between Two Beers’ BJ Watling episode is a fitting chance for the great - but usually quiet - man to tell his story. Highly recommended [Between Two Beers]
Guy Heveldt is on the podium for the most passionate and enthusiastic New Zealander - this Twitter thread of him reporting on the men’s eight reporting really captures that [TVNZ]
Sometimes it's only when something goes wrong that we know we are truly alive, and better off watching someone come off their bike at speed than experience it, especially if they're an Australian.
Steve Braunias on armchair critics. I feel seen [NZ Herald]
Why we might all become hammer throw experts in the future - Dana Johannsen meets Lauren Bruce and Julia Ratcliffe [Stuff]
Many amateur Kiwi diving enthusiasts probably feel the manu doesn’t get the love it deserves in terms of degree of difficulty from Olympic judges. But sports evolve, so keep practising, whether it’s from the rope over the river or the spiritual homes of the sport at the bridges in Raglan and Ngāaruawāhia.
Ian Anderson ranks Olympic Sports by your chances of actually doing OK in them [Stuff]
Video nasty
All time gold medal Olympic commentary.
Long read
A comprehensive run through the history of Long Beach’s greatest ska band and why Sublime are making a comeback even now [The Ringer]
Recommendation
Sometimes you want more of the same. Now the season’s complete, it’s safe to start watching series seven of the Brokenwood Mysteries on TVNZ on Demand.
Bring back the gif
That work life.
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