Parents' guide to kids sports by how convenient they are for you

Sport Review #144

Kids playing sport is really important for their development, physically and socially.

But back to you. Is there food? Can you stay in the car? If you accidentally drank eight craft beers in 40 minutes on Friday night, will you cope on Saturday morning? Here’s what you need to know for your own convenience and temperature:

Basketball

Great sport. It’s usually in a gym, which means you’ll be warm and dry, but it never gets rained off. You’ll probably be hit up for a hoop in the drive, which sounds like fun, but you’ll quickly lose interest when you realise you can’t dunk.

Cricket

Tough one. If you love the game you’ll be fine, but if you’ve ever called it ‘bat-footy-, it’s probably not for your child. It takes a long time, and there are a lot of jobs. If your attention span is ruined from binging 18 episodes of Kath and Kim on Friday night I don’t recommend scoring. Umpiring *sounds* difficult but there’s not much to do at lower levels, and standing in the middle of a field is quite peaceful. Catering can be hit and miss though.

Rugby

I’m going to go on a limb and say your child is not the next Dan Carter. Relax.

Tennis

It’s pretty much about teaching the game so your kids can take it up again in their 40’s. You need to think carefully if that long-term investment is worth your time. Pro tip - the bar is very, very cheap.

Football

Your child will be really tired afterwards and catering is usually super organised. Great for making friends with other parents on the sideline and a fantastic excuse to buy gumboots - just get some mud on them before the first game.

Golf

An absolute nightmare of long distance driving, stress and walking about. Usually some decent single malts in the clubhouse, you’ll probably need one.

Water Polo

Surprisingly enjoyable to watch and kids love it. There’s a lot of dark muttering about underwater violence when they get older so be warned.

Cross country

Stick about for the starter’s gun then go read the paper in the car for an hour. Hard to see a downside.

Thanks for reading - Richard

The week's best NZ sport content

The award wining Scratched series is back, celebrating New Zealand’s lost sorting heroes. You can watch them all here, recommend starting with Precious [The Spinoff]

How Peter Burling went from Tauranga to top of the sailing world [NZ Herald]

…and Dana Johanssen talks to Jimmy Spithall about switching boats and cultures [Stuff]

Elliot Smith has had enough of the yellow seats - it’s time for bubbles at the game [Newstalk ZB]

Video nasty

Prayers for your Playstation tan in Level 3.

Long read

Asian investors buy olde English golf resort and cuts membership from a few thousand chums to just 888. Chaos ensues [Guardian]

Recommendation

Den Of Thieves is the straight to video version of Heat. On P. Massive recommendation, it’s on Netflix.

Bring back the gif 

When you are always in the house.

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