Cricket is usually played in sunshine, and also with a heavy projectile that comes at you very very fast.
This presents a design challenge but also an opportunity - that allows cricketers to express the level of personal protection and fashion they’re comfortable with.
Here’s an exhaustive list of everything that’s hot and not at the wicket. If I’ve missed anything (unlikely), let me know.
Ten: Baggy green
Steve Waugh as Australian captain invented a frankly ridiculous backstory about this fairly standard cricket hat. He and Glenn McGrath even turned up to Wimbledon to support Pat Rafter one time, in an attempt to bestow upon him a baggy green power ray or some such. It failed, obviously. The best thing about the baggy green is that Shane Warne hated it, and trolled Waugh about it at every opportunity. Brilliant.
Nine: Whatever this is
Satisfying only if you need more sledging in your life. And handy if you run out of nappies.
Eight: BBL lids
If you love caps, you deeply appreciate the height of the crown, a nicely worn-in fit and how it sits on your head. If you want to look like a Bad Boy For Life or Mario, by all means hit the merch tent.
Seven: 70s helmets
Helmets weren’t always sleek, robust or indeed safe. Early efforts were basically an invitation for sledging from a pack of Australians in moustaches and too-tight shirts and would probably make any injury worse to be brutally honest.
Six: Towelling hat
Are you here to keep wickets or paint the gate mate? Make up your mind. Massively powerful if you invite yourself over to the neighbours family bbq with a 24 pack and stay for the weekend, but not at all cricket appropriate. Poor show.
Five: Beanie
Everyone loves a photo op of cricketers in the cold in blankets and gloves - taking a wooly hat onto the field weaponises this hardship and fully turns tables on mother nature. Tremendous stuff.
Four: Headbands
Sure, batters wear them under the lid, but a bowler in a headband is terrifying, indicating they’re producing buckets of sweat so powerful it will burn their eyes.
Three: Nothing
Proper baller. Neither the sun or your bowling is of concern to me.
Two: Cricket cap
Tremendous. Whether it’s your country or the local village green outfit, you don’t get one unless you make the team, and the older and more beaten up it looks the better. But be warned - just like ‘togs togs undies’, it looks instantly ridiculous the minute you leave the cricket ground.
One: The Floppy
Nic Cage in Wild At Heart said: “This is a snakeskin jacket! And for me it's a symbol of my individuality, and my belief... in personal freedom.”
He could have been talking about the floppy. Just a very louche vibe you can take an outfield screamer in. Batting in a floppy is an unparalleled power move that shows the bowler they’re worthless, as an attacking force and also a human being. If you’re playing this summer, you can start wearing it in now by placing it at the bottom of a cat litter tray and stamping on it on a regular basis.
Thanks for reading - Richard
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