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Sport Review #219

What’s all this?

A world cup, a bloody world cup! Football’s world cup is the greatest tournament of them all and in these times (which are extremely challenging, you may have heard) it feels like a miracle it’s happening. Warm up the couch, get the milo ready and deploy the tactical Out of Offices, this is going to be fun.

Where is it?

Qatar. Not a natural football nation or destination, the desert state was awarded the cup hosting rights at the same ceremony as 2018 hosts Russia. Accusations of human rights abuses in the stadium construction and concerns over Qatar’s stance on LGBTQ folk ensued - which in all likelihood will be swamped by football coverage as soon as the first expensive boot touches a football, with some teams making their own protests:

SI Soccer @si_soccer

“It’s a sign of our values and what we represent as the men’s national team and U.S. Soccer, and we’re a group that believes in inclusivity.” A rainbow crest at the training facility is one way #USMNT is embracing its “Be the Change” identity in Qatar trib.al/UaEw8O2

Football in the desert? That’ll be fairly hot no?

They’ve thought of everything - all eight venues are brand spanking new and fully air-conditioned at pitch level.

How does it work?

There are 32 teams (48 next time!) in eight groups of four, with the top two teams going through to a straight knockout tournament - groups of death are generally acknowledged to be E (Spain, Germany, Japan, Costa Rica) and B (England, USA, Iran, Wales).

Where can watch?

All the matches are live on SKY Sport - and there’ll be 22 matches free to air on Prime and there are loads of classic matches on FIFA’s Youtube channel to get you in the mood.

When are the games on?

If you live in New Zealand, the time zones range from diabolical to broadly inconvenient, with kick offs ranging from 11pm, 2am, 5am or 8am). The schedule is here, and you can download the schedule to your calendar here.

With time zones this bad, expect plenty of chat about Sky Sport Now, the online platform that UK Premier League fans can struggle with when wanting to watch replays when they get up - this is will be a big test.

Where can I follow?

As one of the most-covered sporting events in the world, you’re spoiled for choice. I like the Guardian’s Football Weekly Podcast and coverage, r/soccer and dirty old twitter.com, (still) the best for live events. It’s unclear what’s happening on Mastodon for this one.

Is there a sick new Nike ad for me to enjoy?

But of course.

But don’t forget the GOAT:

What are my team’s chances?

If you support Brazil, you’re in luck - they’re the number one team in the world and favourites for the tournament. Argentina, France, England and Spain are the most likely.

As one of the most played sports in the world, the big guns tend to win it - upsets are possible sure and someone is definitely going home early. Ideally we’ll see one nation do a Croatia or South Korea and make a heartwarming run to the semi finals at least.

Who will be the stars?

Most of the world’s best players are actively seeking bad PR at the moment, with three of the best - Kylian Mbappe (France), Lionel Messi (Argentina) and Neymar (Brazil) all earning shitloads, not winning anything and arguing with each other at Paris St Germain, who are owned by the Qatar Sports Investment group. Ronaldo, who earns £515,000 a week, chose a couch just metres from Piers Morgan to wreck his own career.

That leaves happily married father of three and loyal Tottenham Hotspur player Harry Kane of England as the obvious favourite for player of the tournament and top goal scorer, in what would be an extremely heart warming outcome overall.

Harry Kane @HKane

Now it begins 🦁🦁🦁

Who should I support?

England, obviously.

Thanks for reading - Richard

This week's best NZ sport content

Coaches that are geniuses and also universally known as GC’s are rare, but Wayne Smith is both those, and now has a mens’ and womens’ world cup winners medal to go with [Locker Room]

Watching rugby in New Zealand can feel like you’re trapped in an infinity loop.

Dylan Cleaver reviews the final, it’s coverage and what could happen from here [The Bounce]

How the Ferns came back from rock bottom results and accusations in the camp and how throwing every available resource at the problems lead to cup glory [Stuff]

As a school match scorer who’s recored my son’s last three matches on hastily printed out A4 score sheets, I really enjoyed Steve Kilgallon’s article on the inexplicable switch from the Cric HQ to Play HQ scoring systems [Stuff]

The awesome Tim Wigmore talks to the awesome (low key cricket nerd) Kathryn Ryan on cricket, stats, India, New Zealand and more, spruicking his new Crickonomics book that looks, erm, awesome [RNZ]

Video nasty

You’ll never listen to Under Pressure the same way.

Long read

“So you want to apprentice here?” Urushibata said.

“I do,” Neil said.

“You should reconsider,” Urushibata said, then turned his attention back to the spruce.

Bonsai is not as tranquil as you think [New Yorker]

Recommendation 

Just some photos of really beautiful tennis courts [Huckleberry]

Bring back the gif 

When you spot the Cookie Time in the checkout aisle.