To perform your duties competently, it’s crucial you’re clear if your boss is a boss, or 92-cap former All Black captain Sean Fitzpatrick. Let’s clear this up once and for all.
When you arrive at work, is your boss:
Smashing out a few emails and putting the finishing touches on the deck for the big presentation
Working the phone to sponsors, and sticking pins in a Johan de Roux voodoo doll
If your boss says ‘full credit’, do they:
Kind of wink while they’re doing it, because it’s become a bit of a joke through association with former All Black captain Sean Fitzpatrick
Not make a big deal, it’s just a totally normal thing to say
What’s your boss’s go-to analogy?
Something about boats and runways and time running out
Something about Zinny and Foxy and being down in the last minute
It’s time to hit the whiteboard for a strategy sesh. Before you get started, what is your boss wiping off the board?
Some thoughts on how the company will be structured in one, five and ten years’ time
All the ways Robin Brooke could have shut down Joel Stransky
How does your boss get to work?
The bus
A pink fist car
It’s casual Friday - as usual your boss is sporting:
A nice stripy Barkers shirt and some chinos - perfect for meetings, but also sinking a few at the Breakout And Lanyard after work
Canterbury of New Zealand easy-wipe trackies, paired with a chambray shirt and boat shoes
How did you score?
Mostly 1’s: Your boss is most likely a boss.
Mostly 2’s: Your boss is 92-cap former All Black captain Sean Fitzpatrick. We recommend asking him about captaining the All Blacks, and brainstorming things he can sponsor. For money.
Thanks for reading - Richard
The week's best NZ sport content
This from former NZ Cricket Museum supremo Jamie Bell is a thoughtful and informative contribution to the statue debate about one of the Basin Reserve’s iconic spots [Sportsfreak]
Chris Rattue has a long interview with BLACKCAPS spearhead Tim Southee [NZ Herald]
Dylan Cleaver on the most intriguing characters he’s met in his career - there are some live ones here [NZ Herald]
Suzanne McFadden meets the young women competing in next year’s gender-balanced Youth America’s Cup, the first step to addressing this issue in the big one [Locker Room]
Paul Ford with some excellent 80’s NZ cricket team drama and scandal - how Paddles fell out with Mantis [Wisden]
If you somehow missed Ex-Hurricane Beauden Barrett getting dragged into the Hurricanes’ try celebrations, you need to fix that [SKY Sport]
Also - how good is this?
Video nasty
This high-speed drive through the middle of Paris in a Ferrari 275 GTB is one of the flat-out coolest things you’ll ever see.
Long read
The story of Gremlins 2, the Hollywood sequel that’s not afraid to say most sequels are pointless [Independent]
Recommendation
Marcella is a horrific, confusing and gripping London detective thriller from the creators of the GOAT Scandinavian crime show The Bridge. We’ve just finished series two, and there’s a new one out just now. It’s on Netflix.
Selected weekend fixtures
NETBALL - Magic v Mystics is on at 7pm tonight, and there are games all weekend, they’re on SKY
RUGBY - it’s Chiefs v Blues tomorrow at 7pm, and Hurricanes v Crusaders on Sunday afternoon, it’s all on SKY
LEAGUE - the Warriors play the Rabbitohs at 8pm tonight, it’s on SKY
FOOTBALL - the Premier League is back, you can see Spurs waste Man U at 7.15am tomorrow, it’s on Spark Sport
Bring back the gif
When you have to remind everyone in the office how your jokes work.
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