Richie Mo’unga is haunting Damian McKenzie

Sport Review #285

Last week, Damian McKenzie played as All Blacks’ first five in Dunedin.

World cup runner up and former long time Crusaders first five Richie Mo’unga, who could have watched the game from his home, his mates’ home, a Koru lounge or the pub, watched from the stands and was shown on screen by some fuss budget Sky cameraperson.

But, Richie is playing in Japan at the moment - all Sport Review knows about Japanese rugby is:

• You get paid a lot of cash

• All the teams are run by companies like Yamaha, Ibanez, Uniqlo and Kikkoman

• You get to come home whenever you want to water ski* or haunt your former and also would-be team mates

Richie is of course one of Razor’s main guys and presumably feels he is the natural owner of the first five jersey if he wasn’t playing in Japan at the moment, ineligible to play international rugby, but also somehow in Forsyth Barr stadium.

Watching.

But this was just the start of the mind games - if you have watched Season 3 of The Bear, you will be familiar with haunting (explanation - spoilers!) - here’s how Richie is haunting D Mac this week.

Barber shop, interior

Damian - ‘Number three thanks’

Richie - ‘Not number two? OK’

Sponsors kit-out session, interior

Damian - 'I’ll take the navy Sambas please’

Richie - ‘Everyone’s wearing white in Japan, but you do you bro’

Date night, interior

Damian - ‘Garlic bread to start please’

Richie - ‘Bro, your breath’

Team room, interior

Damian - ‘…….’

Richie - ‘Hey, look at this interesting article’

All Black training, exterior

Damian - *goes right*

Richie - *texts Razor - ‘I’d have gone left just FYI’

Bleak-looking carpark, exterior

Damian - ‘…..’

Richie - ‘Check out my bus’

* I can’t tell you how proud Sport Review is to be the first google result for ‘Sam Cane water ski’

Thanks for reading - Richard

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