Sir Steve Hansen helps with things

Sport Review #252

Sep 15, 2023

Shag just loves to help! One week he’s coaching Wallabies coaching legend Eddie Jones, the next he’s helping the All Blacks. He’s everywhere! Helping.

Helps finding your team’s Premier League highlights on Sky Sport Now

OK. You have to sign in. OK. UFC? Nah. Sky Sport 4… not that. ESPN… Usually I’d get Beauden to do this for me. Um. Shall we just watch Breakdown?

Helps you remember what you came to Bunnings for

Easy. Get those batteries, AA and AAA, duct tape, , a couple of new torches, some gardening gloves, a bucket, a power board... make that a couple, BBQ cleaner, a new BBQ, some of those long garden lights with the flames coming out the top, wet and forget. Anything else? Anything? Actually, you’d probably better ring home mate, don’t want to be coming back out here.

Helps when your toothbrush falls into the toilet

Flush the dunny and move on.

Helps Eddie Jones with his coaching

Honestly, you’ve turned into a comedy show mate. There’s nothing happening on the field, all very well telling off journos and taking pressure off the boys but how long’s it going to go for? I mean you got a win against Georgia, well done, but are you honestly getting out of the group? The quarters? Bloody hell. It’s like you’re doing jedi mind tricks to get these jobs and get paid millions to produce turds. Actually. How do I do that?

Helps you order crepes in Paris

Gday. Ah. Vou lay vouuuuu…. kiwi? Mate? Seeeee vouuuu plate. Pancake? Non? Fuck it. Deux bières. Yeah cheers.

Helps reflect on former All Black coaches weighing in on any issue going

Well that’s what you do isn’t it? I mean every five minutes when I was coaching it’d be bloody Laurie Mains reckons this and bloody John Hart reckons that. I mean, you’d be sat there in some Johannesburg hotel room reading this shit going ‘When I get out of here, I’m really going to get stuck in. Can’t wait.’ Not Fossie obviously. But definitely Razor.

Note - Sport Review will be on a break for the next few weeks - I’ll schedule a couple of archive specials to keep things moving.

Thanks for reading - Richard

This week's best NZ sport content

Bayleigh Teepa-Tarau and his AIMS Games golf win in his third round ever is hands down the best NZ sport story this week. Even though the AIMS games shouldn’t exit etc etc [NZ Herald / NZ Golf]

Where has rugby and its set of laws got to as a sport when it is seen as advantageous NOT to have the ball and where the most efficient path to victory is to have it effectively out of play as often as possible?

Dylan Cleaver on the All Blacks and tournament. Imagine the gymnastics needed to get to this point [The Bounce]

Duncan Greive speaks to most people in New Zealand find the origins of Up The Wahs [Spinoff]

The Detail asks if the three women’s world cups has moved the needle on gender equality in sport and indeed in broader society [RNZ]

Ideally, Auckland would have a couple less stadiums, not one more stadiums working group, but that is what we have for now. Fingers crossed! [NZ Herald]

Angus Morrison gets a few things off his chest about the All Blacks coach. Ouch [NZ Herald]

Everyone had the same idea at once - a breezy travel show with some former All Blacks exploring France and all its quirks. I hear you can’t move over there for former All Blacks. Calum Henderson watched them all so you don’t have to [Spinoff]