Sport and politics - Landslide or Withdraw and apologise?

Sport Review #197

If you missed a gang of men in branded non-natural fibre clothing refusing to answer basic questions about joining a golf tour in a country renowned for chopping up journalists and also money, you can catch it here:

Sky Sports Golf @SkySportsGolf

🗣️ "If Vladimir Putin had a tournament, would you play that?" Ian Poulter and Lee Westwood refuse to answer questions on whether there is anywhere in the world they wouldn't play.

If you missed the back story (multi multi millionaires want to become multi multi multi millionaires) there’s an excellent explainer from the BBC here, where the famous line ‘I believe sport and politics shouldn’t mix (usually deployed by people doing something bad) is rolled out.

Sport and politics is a firey mix. Politicians are always keen to drink from the cup of heartwarming patriotism and winning, but it comes with massive risks of failure. Sport Review presents examples of politicians in sport, rated on the Landslide or Withdraw and apologise continuum ©.

Withdraw and apologise: Wrong sport

Boris has form when it comes to really fucking people up in the name of sport (Exhibit A) and other things, but in the clip above he’s clearly not read his brief sheet, and pulls out a textbook rugby tackle while ostensibly participating in the roundball code. Hard fail.

Landslide: Cricket

On first reading Mr Think Big looks to be a dirty bottom handed slogger good for a quickfire 12 runs off five balls and out.

Closer analysis reveals a deep red pattern in the middle of the bat Kane Williamson would be proud of, and an absolute baller move of batting without gloves, and wearing a watch. Combine that with a steely chin and classic old school towelling hat and scientists of the game will recognise Sir Rob as a banker Moneyball dominant middle order consideration for any club side, particularly taking his leadership and finance skills into account.

Landslide: Football in heels

The Iron Lady took a break from looking after small business to treat this football like an Argentinian battleship, kicking the absolute shit out of it. A very, very powerful signal to voters.

Landslide: Three way handshake

As a nation waited for Richie to lift our first World Cup trophy since 87, Bernard Lapasset and John Key both went in hard, grasping for the All Black skipper’s mitt, resulting in a sort of hand sandwich. Widely mocked, it was another typical Key 4D chess genius reverse psychology move, further embedding his reputation as a generally relatable dorky uncle and probably sealed the 2011 election just a month later.

Hung parliament: Kim Jong Un

If you defeat the North Korean Army, you meet the Final Boss.

Landslide: Tarmac football

Honestly, if there’s anything cooler than John Kerry kicking a ball around while on the phone sorting the world out in his fav 501’s, while waiting for Air Force One to refuel with the secret service keeping an eye out, I’ve yet to see it.

Landslide: Casual three pointer

The GOAT.

Thanks for reading - Richard

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