Team New Zealand reveal 'row out to race boat' clause

Sport Review #137

NEWSDESK: America’s Cup defending syndicate Team New Zealand have thrown the regatta into chaos as they reveal all race boats must be moored in the harbour overnight, with teams accessing their vessels under oar power.

“It’s the Kiwi way,” said TNZ chief executive Grant Dalton. “We promised an accessible cup and by creating these links with weekend yachties, we’re delivering. If other teams can’t row around a container ship and Christmas party boats, it’s not our issue.”

Generally, New Zealand yachtsfolk moor yachts in sheltered harbour areas and access them by rowboat, delivering supplies of WeetBix, Ginger Nuts and Choysa Tea Bags to their craft, with seperate journeys for beer, cask wine and rum.

Bringing this dimension to the Auld Mug is unprecedented. Luna Rossa helmsman Jimmy Spithall told reporters ‘You fucking what?”, while American Magic immediately demanded core samples of each syndicates’ row boats for their legal teams.

Already allegations of subterfuge are rife, with INEOS Team UK claiming TNZ sailors were observed being dropped off by the Devonport ferry, with Luna Rossa accused of installing foils on their dinghy.

Adding this step to America’s Cup racing is unprecedented, but will be a further test of each team’s fitness and organisational skills. “I can’t wait to see the look on Butterworth’s face when he’s 15 metres from base and runs out of puff,” said Dalton.

Thanks for reading - Richard

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