Top ten tips for negotiating the 80s NZ Cricket Team Christmas party

Sport review #138

Being invited to the 80s NZ Cricket Team Christmas party is a great honour - you want to relax and enjoy the occasion, but not make a complete Warner of yourself. Prepare yourself by learning Sport Review’s top tips to be on your game. Have fun safely!

  • Don’t say “So if the 90s team was the Young Guns, does that make you guys the Old Guns?”

  • The recommended number of Chappell brothers to bring is one. You could do two at an absolute maximum, but you must include Ian

  • Don’t introduce Jeremy Coney and Richard Hadlee to sing Reunited on the karaoke without their express permission beforehand

  • Ewan Chatfield is not your ride home

  • Don’t play devil’s advocate for Australian umpires

  • Don’t say things like “Sheesh. That IPL money eh?”

  • Don’t suggest an improvised game of cricket using a bottle of scotch and Geoff Howarth’s car keys

  • Do stick to two drinks - best to leave early lest you find yourself arguing with a bouncer on Gary Troup’s behalf at 3am outside a central city nitespot

Thanks for reading - Richard

Share Sport Review newsletter

The week's best NZ sport content

Is this the best All Whites XI ever? Possibly, but that formation needs work [NZ Herald]

Balancing broadcast money, and how die hard and casual fans can watch sport kicked off a bit of chat this week* - here’s Alex Brae on watching the cricket in pubs, and Aidan McLauchlin on kids, following cricket and Spark [The Spinoff, Sportsfreak]

The links between rugby and dementia are growing - here’s Dylan Cleaver on the law suit that’s forcing its governing body to act [NZ Herald] (This Between Two Beers episode comes highly recommended for background on Dylan’s reporting on this issue)

Kaye Surgenor coached her sons to rowing glory - David Leggat hears about her next steps into an elite coaching coaching career [Locker Room]

Video nasty

The two ball trick is shithousery of the highest order.

Long read

The inside story of the NBA bubble, how it came about and what life was like inside [GQ]

Recommendation

If you liked David Tennant as a gruff detective in Broadchurch, you’ll love him as a gruff serial killer in Des. Set in early 80s London, it’s shocking, based on a true story and it’s on TVNZ on Demand.

Bring back the gif 

Christmas comes at you like:

Sport Review is the week’s best NZ sport writing and loads more in your inbox every Friday at 8am. Tell your friends!

*It is Sport Review policy to not link to Mark Reason pieces