Tottenham Hotspur manager power rankings 1990-2023

Sport Review #233

Your football team’s manager is a quasi-father figure, overseeing your hopes, dreams, disappointments and mental health. Are they ambitious? Are they winning? And if you support Spurs, will they still be there at the weekend?

My team, Tottenham Hotspur, have had 31 managers and caretakers between 1990 and today - it’s a ever repeating cycle of emotional energy through the build up, reality setting in, grimly inevitable sacking, speculation of who we might get next, rebuilding and sacking and… you get the idea. In 2014 I reviewed Tottenham managers, which felt ridiculous at the time, and we’ve had seven since. We’ve just sacked a caretaker and installed another caretaker, for Jurgen’s sake.

We’re a difficult team to manage and indeed support in that we’ve not won the league since the (cough, early) 60’s, fancy ourselves as better than everyone else because we once played a style of attacking football that most have caught up with and surpassed years ago, and we’re fickle. Add in our comedy evil owner, a combination of Jeff Bezos and Gru, and we’re not likely to do anything meaningful any time soon. But maybe next year. It’s the hope that kills you etc.

And so, I preset some extremely niche content, ranking Spurs managers since Italia 90 - I’ve not included the caretakers, no-one has time for that.

1. Ossie Ardiles Jun 93 - Nov 94

So much excitement, so much love. Legendary Spurs player. Jurgen. Darren. Created the Famous Five formation that packed as many strikers and attacking midfielders in as possible and told the defence you’re basically on your own. Played some nice football, everyone loved him but he didn’t win anything and got the sack. The fact he’s number one in this list betrays the unrealistic and deluded expectations of this team, its supporters and this newsletter.

2. Mauricio Pochettino May 14 - Nov 19

What might have been. Chest like a fridge freezer, heart like a tiger. Iconic moments. Got us to a Champions League final with a rag tag group of players that had been around for approximately 25 years each. Got sacked by evil owner thus cementing his wounded deer legend. Telling that he’s quite keen to come back, but it was all a bit half hearted.

3. Terry Venables Nov 87 - Jun 91

What a time. Gazza. Gary. A second Gary. Actually won something. Iconic moments. Went on to manage England and bring all his his Tottenham favourites into the team while looking like he’d stepped out from behind the bar at the Queen Vic. Magical stuff.

4. Harry Redknapp Oct 08 - Jun 12

Was uninspiring at first, being associated with east end laughing stock West Ham, but turned out to be really good, getting us to the Champions League regularly and competing there. Put together a great team but couldn’t’ shake his love for a bargain as expressed through strikers like Robbie Keane and Peter Crouch. Signed Van der Vaart. Looked like Deputy Dawg. Legend.

5. Martin Jol Nov 04 - Oct 07

Massive Dutchman. Looked like he loved a pint and a dart. Played some great football. Signed Berbatov. Legend.

6. Antonio Conte Nov 21 - Mar 23

A warning on how easy it is to be seduced. When he strung a couple of results together and literally exploded with rage or joy at every single minor incident on the touchline, I thought he’d lead us to the promised land and beyond. Things quickly went sour until his ‘I’m mad as hell and not taking it any more’ press conference that brought about a hasty end.

7. Glenn Hoddle Apr 01 - Sep 03

Every Spurs fan’s favourite player, with his droopy socks, shaggy hair and magical vision and feet. Unfortunately was massive nutcase as a person with a history of using faith healers and managing Chelsea. This one hurts, as we thought he’d build a team in his image, swanning around the centre circle doing nothing before unleashing a pass like a Van Gough painting to win eight or nine nil, but ultimately he did nothing with us.

8. Gerry Francis Nov 94 - Nov 97

Took the famous five and made a more solid team of it - but looking back, it’s hard to fathom he was there for three years. Had a really impressive mullet.

9 - 11. Juande Ramos Oct 07 - Oct 08, Jacques Santini Jun 04 - Nov 04, Nuno Espirito Santo Jun 21 - Nov 21

Grouping all these up because they’re all Embarrassing And Wholly Unmemorable Failed Experiments. Ramos gets an honourable mention for winning a league cup, signing Luka Modric and having fantastic eyebrows.

12. Doug Livermore / Peter Shreeves May 92 - 19 Jun 93

I literally do not remember these guys. Not a good sign.

13. Tim Sherwood Dec 13 - May 14

Another EAWUFE, but gets his own extra embarrassing category for wearing vests and saluting. For some reason.

14. Andre Villas-Boas Jul 2012 - Dec 2013

Sharp suited and big brained mysterious chin rubbing, we thought we were getting the next Moneyball Uber Genius, but he turned out to be yet another EAWUFE, and one from Chelsea.

15. George Graham Oct 98 - Mar 01

Bought in from our loathsome rivals Arsenal, he did a job for us, won a trophy, proved himself to be a decent man but we could never really love him. Won a trophy and there are rumours the crowd sung his name, but I don’t believe it. Wrong man in the wrong place and just not Tottenham.

16. Christian Gross Nov 97 - Sep 98

The manager when I arrived in London. Embarrassed himself by waving around a tube ticket for some reason. Around this time, Arsenal were putting together an amazing team that went out and won the Premier League, while we’d installed this unknown manager, far out of his depth. Probably a decent man, but I am deeply petty and blame him for a lot.

17. Jose Mourinho Nov 19 - Apr 21

Brought in from Chelsea with a reputation for being a dick that won things, and only fulfilled the first part of the equation. Got good results initially, but when there was the inevitable fallout with the management and players, and he started demanding Respect from every man and his dog, it all went south very quickly. His first season was captured in excruciating detail in the All Or Nothing documentary, exposing his elite tier banter, but also confirmed he was a dick that arranged all his medals on his desk on day one.

Thanks for reading - Richard

This week's best NZ sport content

Team managers are special people, required to be the leader and the heart of the team group as well as making sure the bus turns up on time - Suzanne McFadden meets Nelly Strickland, who’s made the leap from managing the Black Sticks to the Black Ferns [Locker Room]

Rowan Simpson goes deep into pinnacle events and case for hosting them, nailing down their legacy and what the rest of us can learn from watching the world’s greatest athletes up close [Top Three]

Sportsfreak is not happy about sporting AZAC Day promos [Sportsfreak]

Forward up to 18 minutes for discussion of the mighty Raleigh 20, the greatest bike ever made [RNZ]

Just look at Dion Nash’s bat collection. Missing a County but.

dion_j_nash

A post shared by Dion Nash (@dion_j_nash)

Video nasty

Brush up on your photoshop skills.

 

Long read

Amazing profile of legendary slight of hand magician Ricky Jay, who also goes and pops up in several Paul Thomas Anderson films [New Yorker]

Recommendation 

Alto’s Adventure is still the GOAT iPhone game - if you have any decent game recommendations, let me know!

Bring back the gif 

Trying to find a big game that’s currently playing on Sky Sport Now.