Hi. It’s Santa.
When I’m not deep in a toy production forecast pivot table or checking the elves’ internet history, I’m checking in on the All Blacks. Men mountains. Backline magic. Broadcast agreements. Time zones. Magical stuff.
Then I get the news these guys might spend Christmas day in a hotel instead of working through a free chilly bin of Steinys and doing Instagrams. Cry me a river boys.
Be real. Being an All Black seems like a fucking doddle. Ripping around in a black Falcon, putting Powerade on Weed Bix? I could do that in my sleep.
Let’s swap jobs fellas. Could Ardie Savea spend all year making Lockdown Barbies only for kids to turn around in November and decide they want some YouTuber’s funny hat? Could Jordie Barrett break through an elf strike on Xmas eve without completely rooting the 2021 balance sheet? Be my guest.
You might think the average kiwi would cry themselves to sleep at the mere notion of the national rugby team not being accommodated in the bosom of luxury and convenience 24/7. But just remember heaps of them work xmas day too. Every time you need batteries or milk for xmas lunch, the guys and girls at the dairy or servo aren’t complaining. The BLACKCAPS hardly ever spend Christmas at home. That’s not to mention the All Blacks social media team who’ll spend the 25th making content about you doing Zooms instead of eating ham.
Santa’s been in this game a long time, and knows a poorly conceived PR smokescreen attempt to pull on the heartstrings trying to patch over a failed attempt to spend ever decreasing capital at the negotiating table when he sees it.
Santa’s not buying it. I’m making a list here.
Thanks for reading - Richard
The week's best NZ sport content
Mediawatch looks at the SANZAR brouhaha and who’s toeing the party line [RNZ]
Guy Heveldt meets Spencer Bourne, who’s entered the Battle of Jack’s Ridge rally in tribute to his late dad Possum [TV1]
Aiden McLaughlin examines the Black Ferns’ 2020 Test programme cancellation and concludes we shouldn’t accept it so readily [Sportsfreak]
Not NZ, but here’s Vic Marks and Jarrod Kimber on Dean Jones, who passed away at 59 overnight[Guardian]
Andrew Dunford has some bad news for All Blacks fans in 1973, but some good news for Keith Murdoch [Sportsfreak]
Video nasty
Stupid sexy Flanders.
Long read
One for Beatles nerds - Rob Sheffield on the breakup [Rolling Stone]
Recommendation
Chasing Monsters is going to rivers and oceans around the world, throwing a line in and pulling out some freaky shit. It’s on Netflix.
Selected weekend fixtures
Tasman v Waikato at 2.05pm tomorrow looks the pick of the Mitre 10 Cup
Elsewhere, there’s Farah Palmer Cup, NBA playoffs, the NFL, the Premier League and the Indian Premier League
Bring back the gif
When you bring the kids into the dairy.
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