Most blessed objects in New Zealand sport

Sport Review #172

After covering our nation’s most cursed, let’s balance things out, and cleanse the sporting and emotional palate.

A Jonah Lomu Rugby disc - Real ones know the greatest-ever rugby game was this little-old PS1 release. Not only could you play a reasonable game, there was Bill McLaren commentary with catchphrases that never got old (‘That would have put him in ward four! I hope not, that’s the maternity ward!’ ‘Digs like a demented mole there!’) and also design a team with 15 Jonahs. Now you just need a cable for the PS1.

Duncan Cole’s necklace - not content with being the engine room and throw-in maestro of the 1982 World Cup New Zealand Football team, Dunc could accessorise with the very best of ‘em. Shell necklaces were the pinnacle of effortless surf fashion in the 80’s, showing you were probably off for a wax n shred session after school, while being prepared to put up with itchiness and grit.

Peter Blake’s dad jeans - Red socks? Too obvious. When you’re running a successful raid on American yachting’s trophy cabinet and also sailing on the boat, you require a trouser that allows pivoting, ducking or a quick sprint while allowing top tier boardroom-ready style and comfort. These meet the brief, don’t show the Bell Tea stains and can be hoisted up the mast in the event of a spinnaker malfunction.

Steven Adams camo and slides - Not only does the big man have popping comfy orange slides with his face on - he got sent them for free! Also pictured - the iconic camo jacket that gets worn everywhere.

Silver Ferns wigs - when you’re four Pinot Gris deep, have an hour until the mini bus leaves and want to show you’re a Ferns fan, the $2 shop has got you. Also pictured: Boom sticks, which are unfortunately very, very cursed.

The Mace - yeah definitely. It’s weird, it’s cool and it makes everyone happy.

Bob Charles golf shirt - weaved from the finest Terylene, this blue monster will keep you looking and feeling cool while shooting 74, knocking back a few single malts at the club bar before driving the boys home. Just don’t stand next to the fire.

Thanks for reading - Richard

This week's best NZ sport content

Toni Bruce looks at woman’s rugby in New Zealand and the hard grind required to get to where we are now [Locker Room]

So I got to watch this monumental moment in our cricket history like so many other New Zealanders that day – huddled around a television. But a television located just a few kilometres up the road from my spiritual home, the Basin Reserve. At one point I contemplated phoning the ground and requesting that my seat be left vacant as a mark of respect.

Euan McCabe on Brendon McCullum’s Basin 300 and the decisions we have to make about missing unmissable moments [Sportsfreak]

The All Blacks are on an eternal journey, where nothing has context. Jamie Wall on the never-ending tour and where it’s going next [RNZ]

Ideally, the Clearys would have been winning an NRL Premiership for the Warriors, not Penrith. Trevor McKewan on lunches and buying houses in Auckland and how they got away [The Bounce]

Because we seem to forget this extremely regularly, Rowan Simpson runs the numbers on the All Blacks remarkable win record [Top Three]

If you’ve got Sky Sport Now, check out the Paris - Roubaix highlights, worth a watch [Sky Sport Now]

Video nasty

Thanks to the great man Richard Boock for uncovering this retro gold. Recreate it with the current team now.

Long read

Massive read about a woman who donated a kidney, her Facebook friend that wrote about it, and the bitter legal battle that followed [New York TImes]

Recommendation 

Vigil is a claustrophobic spy / submarine thriller from the Line of Duty gang, it’s highly recommended and on TVNZ on Demand.

Bring back the gif 

When people on the Zoom can’t find the unmute button.

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