Most cursed haircuts in NZ sport
Sport Review #227
I am sorry to be bleak, but Sport Review has celebrated the most blessed haircuts, and you cannot have a high without a low. I don’t make the rules.
Fitzty gets a lot of stick on this website. And for good reason. As All Black hooker in the 90s you should rightly be focused on peak performance and hoovering up as many Stienies and Canterbury sweatshirts as possible. But this is simply an absence of a haircut.
Admittedly, there’s probably something going on here I don’t understand, but having two haircuts at once is objectively cursed. Have to admire being willing to go through the process of explaining to your thinking to barber though.
When you have to play rugby at 2 but get to Sweetwaters by 8. Mex could do it all, The locks are thicker than Mahakirau Forest, the moustache drippier than a Trumpet ten metres’ walk from the dairy, but interestingly the sideburns are lined up sharper than cut glass. An enigma. Bit still cursed.
A classic ‘once you see it you can’t unsee it’, this haircut on a fine player ruined All Black rugby for me for the 2000’s. As well as us being shit and that.
OK, we get it M8.
Former All Black bolter Graham Thorne for some reason ran a permanent wave through in the early 80’s, and it was generally all downhill from there. Watch Keith Quinn gently dragging Thorne over the coals re: this haircut years later and you’ll see proper trauma in a man’s eyes.
Genius James McOnie called it the Omokoroa Octopus and that’s why he is a genius.
There’s just something about boxing trainer Kevin Barry’s hairline that doesn’t stand up to scrutiny. This would go well on an extra in the Russian poker den scene in Rounders, but big questions remain everywhere else.
Thanks for reading - Richard
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